Recently, and for obvious reasons, I've been thinking a lot about the women in the Bible that had babies 'out of season' like Sarah and Elizabeth. I'm not quite as old as they were (at least not Sarah) and obviously I haven't been barren, but I do think that age gives a new perspective to having children.
Each pregnancy gets more and more precious to me since I now realize that in spite of what I thought in my 20s and 30s that I won't be able to have babies for the rest of my life. Each pregnancy I now realize could be the last. And I also realize that not all pregnancies lead to the birth of children. I am not taking anything for granted this time around. I am choosing to enjoy each day. It might be all the time I have with this baby. It might be the last time I ever have the awesome privilege of feeling a life growing inside of me (and kicking and squirming and tossing and turning).
However, this appreciation for the blessing God is giving doesn't mean that I can't complain and belly ache about all the various complications and pains associated with said blessing. Having a baby is hard work...and not just the birthing process. People often say to me that I must have wonderful pregnancies since we have allowed God to freely bestow His blessings on our family. Welp, those of you who've been around me for my pregnancies know way better than that!! As my dear friend Pam told me 20 years ago "Denise, you have thrown up in every restaurant in Arlington!" (Arlington, Texas that is....where Pam and I went out often for lunch and dinner.) Indeed any of you reading this who are my closest friends have memories of pregnant me throwing up in your presence (or your bathroom). :>) I owe you all for your encouragement and your support!!
Anyway back to my main point, I am so grateful for this opportunity to have a baby. I thank God that He saw fit to give my one more 'check'....after all the Bible says that children are the reward of the Lord and the word that is translated reward means wages or salary...babies are the way that God pays us and I'm getting a raise! Hallelujah!!
People ask me how I feel about having a baby ‘at this age’ or ‘at this point in my life’. I’ll tell you how I feel. I feel honored. Truly honored. And incredibly thankful. Thank you, God.