New Unmentionable Quote from Hope

Perhaps I need to tell Hope to not share her new saying….


“My name is Hope…that’s short for Hoper, and long for Ho.”

The Still Small Whisper

My life has been busy this year. I started off the year without Joe as he was in the States for a missions conference. When he came home he brought a nice surprise with him…..my parents for a visit. While they were here I lost our sweet baby Jordan. As they were heading for the airport and their trip home my mom broke a tooth that held a bridge for her front teeth. She ended up staying for an additional 4 weeks to have her teeth repaired. In April we moved houses (yet again). In late June Joe, Mercy and I headed to Sandy Cove in Maryland to speak at a conference. We were so happy to get home and return to a ‘normal’ life. Then two weeks later Joe’s dad passed away on our 25th wedding anniversary. We scrambled together a quick trip for Joe, Mercy and I and headed to Texas for the memorial service. We got back, had a short respite from crises other than the normal crises of ministry opportunities and sick kiddos. However too soon we began preparations for Jake’s return to the US to begin his life there. I just got back from that trip and I miss him so much already. I brought my mom back with me for a visit and for her to be able to finish her dental work here. She will be here until December 5. We are glad she will be here to celebrate American Thanksgiving with us. Then I suppose we’ll start planning Christmas in full force. I almost feel like a North American with all we’ve had going this year. It’s been crazy busy. At this moment I don’t care if I EVER get on another airplane. I know that will change as I have too many people special to me too far away, but that’s my feeling right now.

Add to all of the above our regular lives full of ministry opportunities….

Joe’s teaching at the Seminary, the John Maxwell training classes, preaching at least 10 times in different churches this year, a couple of seminars, leading a parenting conference and a marriage conference…just to name a few. As for me I am still homeschooling 6 kiddos and taking Spanish lessons three times a week….yes, I still stink at it, but I’m trying! I also prepare meals without convenience foods, make it a priority to meet with other missionary gals for mutual encouragement, clean up vomit way more often than I’d like, pass out needed meds, try to keep our family running as smoothly as possible, spend way too much time packing and unpacking and moving our nomadic family, change a few diapers, return emails (eventually), keep up with friends on facebook, look for ministry opportunities as I sit, stand, walk, and buy my veggies in the market, am working on training our brood to have at least a modest smattering of manners, I also try to work a bath or shower in there….just to name a few.

If any of you are still with me, my the point of this blog is not to tell you what all we do….many of you do much more than I do. My point is that in doing all that we do I often wonder if I am doing the One thing that God has called me to. Am I so busy doing all that is necessary that I neglect what is essential? Often I hear the still small Voice whisper to me. The Voice of God that is not in the crises, not in the earthquake, not in the fire, not in the busy distractions of life.  He reminds me in the midst of all I have going to remember why I am on this earth. That Voice reminds me to examine why I do what I do, what I should let go of and what I should reach for in order to further His kingdom. That’s what I am about….what Jesus was about….revealing and furthering God’s kingdom here on earth until He comes again. I’m not just here to pass time. I am here to accomplish a purpose. His purpose. And if I don’t join Him in that purpose He will choose someone else who will. I don’t want to be passed over. I want to be a part. A part of His story. Of His eternal plan. My story is only important in the part that it intersects with His work. All my work will burn up. His work is eternal. 

God, help me listen to your still, small Voice and connect to Your plan for this world….reaching people with the good news of what You have done for them, caring for the poor, the widows, the orphans, helping to bring health to the sick both physically and spiritually, discipling believers, building up Your church, reaching out to those in need, loving people and showing them Your love. This are the things You care about. This is what matters. May my life be one that matters….not for me, but for You.  May my life be one of purpose like that of your Son.  May I not get distracted or bogged down with busy-ness.  Keep on whispering your plan to me and give me the strength to follow that Voice.

A Quick Quote

I have a whole list of new blog articles I am going to write....hopefully starting tonight or tomorrow, but in the mean time I wanted to let you know that I am still alive.  I am back from the States dropping off yet another grown son (sniff, sniff).  I will write about that and much more later.  For now...here´s a quick quote...

Patience to David as she is on the computer:  Could you barely push this button for me cuz I don´t even know what barely means?!

Living in a Broken World and Needing to Feel Loved and Accepted

Lately I´ve been thinking a lot about the results of the sin of Adam and Eve aka ´The Fall´.  It was no small thing that.  Because they thought that their way would be better than the way God had laid out for them, because they thought they should be the ones in control of their lives, because they wanted to be the ones to call the shots we now live in a broken world.  We each are born into broken relationship with God who created us and loves us more than we could ever comprehend.  Sin entering our world affected us more than I think we realize.  It affected our thinking.  It affected our being.  It affected everything we know and even things that we don´t know or realize.

I recently read a book that talks about our ´life-boat´ mentality.  The phrase comes from a discussion that many kids have in schools these days.  Maybe in school you had some of these discussions about people´s worth.  It goes something like this:  Suppose there is a lifeboat that only had room for 5 people and there were six people in it...a little 6 year old boy, a stay at home mom, a female doctor, a male lawyer, a male teacher, a 25 year old woman with Downs Syndrome or some such group as that.  If one was not thrown overboard then all would die.  Who would you choose to be thrown overboard?  The idea that all people are equal because they are made in God´s image rarely if ever comes up.  Usually the class has no problem picking people that have value and those who do not.   Even if they struggle a bit with it they end up picking someone to throw overboard.  That is because this is how we live our everyday lives.  We live as though some people are more valuable than others and of course we want to be the ones with more value.  Therefore we need to prove we are worth something.  We want to show that we deserve to be in the lifeboat.  We go about comparing ourselves to one another.  If someone says or thinks they are better than me it can make me frustrated or angry or even sad because in my ´lifeboat mentality´ they might take my place.  I have to prove I deserve to stay in the lifeboat.

But, what if we are valuable just because God made us and because He loves us?  What kind of world would it be if we all got our sense of worth from God?  What if we didn´t need to compare to one another?  What if I didn´t need to show myself to be better than you?  I could just love you for who you are without judgment.  I could do my best to meet your needs and help you because you aren´t a threat to me.  My desire would be to do whatever I could to build you up.  Sounds like paradise to me.  Sounds like the kingdom of heaven that Jesus talked about. 

Before the fall Adam and Eve lived in total harmony with God.  The Bible tells us they were naked and unashamed, but this was lost after the fall.  After they ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil they became ashamed of who they were.  They no longer were in a perfect relationship with God receiving all they needed from Him.  They were separated from God.  Their relationship was broken.  Because of this they now felt the need to blame others in order to appear better than someone else (Eve in Adam´s case) or something else (the serpent in Eve´s case) and the comparisons and ´life boat´ mentality began.

What if part of our being ´fallen´ means that we are going around trying to be loved and respected by other people instead of getting our love and acceptance from being in a perfect relationship with God?  The fall really messed us up.  We are missing the part (the perfect relationship with God) that made us know in the core of our being that we are valuable, so now we spend most of our time trying to prove to ourselves and to the world that we are good enough, smart enough, talented enough, worthy enough to be loved. 

I am so glad that Jesus came to restore us back to that perfect relationship with God.  He came so that we could once again know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally.  Real love.  Love not based on anything that I do.  How different is that kind of love that the kind that is offered to us in this world?  The Bible tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of God that is found in Christ Jesus.  NOTHING I can do can make Him stop loving me.  He loves us not because of anything we do, but just because He wants to.

So how come I still go around trying to prove myself worthy of that love?  How come so many people feel like they have to show God by their good works that He got a good deal when He chose them?  How come we set up laws and rules that look like those of every other religion?  Ways to be acceptable in God´s sight.  How come we think some people are holier than others?  Closer to God?  More important in the kingdom?  How come we base so much on people´s actions and judge them by what they do and what they don´t do?  Isn´t this what the Pharisees did?  We are not called to actions or works, we are called to a restored relationship with God.  

These days I find myself longing more and more for the old Garden of Eden or better yet for the New Kingdom.  Longing for a time with no lifeboats.  Where there is room for all.  Acceptance for all.  Isn´t that what Jesus taught?  For now while I still live in this fallen world I must focus on finding my acceptance in my Beloved so that I will be able to forget as best as I can about me.  Only then will I be able to really love and unconditionally accept those whom God has called me to serve. 

I realize this is a bit of a ramble and I hope that you are able to make some sense of it.  Just sharing a few things on my heart.

The 6th Day of Homeschooling This Year

Hope asleep on the stairs....I must really be wearing them out.  ;^)

Your Friendly Neighborhood Librarian aka Patience

More Quotes

This time from Hope (age 7 for a few more days)....

to her dad:  "I am so proud of myself."

Joe:  "Why is that?"

Hope:  "Because I haven´t been outside all day.  All I´ve been doing is watching movies.  Usually all we do is play outside and use our imaginations and I haven´t done that all day."

Disclaimer:  The reason they were watching so many movies is that we have several kiddos recovering from giardia.