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Sunday, March 8, 2009

Crazy Life Update

Today I am trying to finish cleaning up my inbox of email. I have ones that I haven´t returned since September. YIKES! Joe´s idea of my cleaning it up is to hit the delete button and start all over. The last time this happened to me my friend, Kendell, told me to send out a email to my whole inbox and tell them I´m deleting all my past emails and starting over and if they needed a response from me to please write me again. Today I´m thinking that that´s not such a bad idea and really an appealing option since I have close to 300 emails to write, but I´m going to try and stick it out and actually respond to each one since people took the time and thought to write to me. If you are among that 300, please be patient with me. I will EVENTUALLY write you. If I inadvertently deleted your email and you don´t get a reply from me, please forgive me and write again. I´ll try to do better.

In September I actually had the inbox all empty, but then I had Mercy and the emails started back up again faster than I could keep up with a new baby and all. Then I had school to teach and holidays to celebrate and the emails kept piling up. I was getting more and more behind. A few days after Christmas Joe left for the States and my plan was to clear out the inbox then. Instead I had sick kids, busy days, and found out I was expecting another baby and the emails kept stacking up instead of clearing out. After three weeks Joe came home and he brought my parents along with him as a surprise. We had a great time visiting with them, but the inbox list kept getting longer. A week or so after they were here I had a miscarriage and lost our sweet baby. We had a memorial service and my parents were scheduled to leave two days later. The two weeks they spent with us flew by and we were sad they were leaving especially since I was still in the grieving process. Then on the way to the airport for their flight back to the States my mom´s front teeth bridge broke and broke the teeth it was attached to as well. They had to make a quick decision on what to do since they needed to be checking in at the airport ticket counter in only one hour. Mom decided to stay with us and see a dentist and check on getting it all repaired. My dad flew on out on his scheduled flight. A few hours later we were at a dentist office here in Coch with Mom. He did an extensive exam and told her it would be three weeks at least before she could get all the work done and return home. So her next three weeks were filled with dentist appointments one or two times a day for up to three hours at a time along with visits in between to get shots and buy the meds she needed from the pharmacy. We spent lots of time on the road and at the dentists´ office and my inbox unfortunately wasn´t emptying itself and I hadn´t yet taken the time to fully grieve my loss. We were all glad that mom stayed and we had more opportunity to visit with her, but were sorry she was in such pain and had to be away from my dad for so long which was all hard on her. (It´s the longest they´ve ever been apart.) I´m afraid I wasn´t such a good hostess or daughter during that time, but I was just trying to get through each day. Mom was such a camper and endured the pain and suffering of way too many dentist visits and way too many procedures in a relatively short amount of time. I can´t stand to go to the dentist once every two years, let alone twice a day for three weeks straight. She took it all in stride. Joe came to the rescue as always and took a huge chunk of my work load, but emptying my inbox was not one of my tasks that he took on. (In fact he has gotten behind on his since he´s been doing so much of my work for me.) Mom left a week ago and I have tried to spend some time alone and with Joe processing the loss of my baby.

Goodbyes are always hard and I´ve had way too many of them lately. I said goodbye to Joe as he left for the States. I said goodbye to my baby that I will never hold in my arms. I said goodbye to my dad as he went back home. I said goodbye to my mom as she returned last week. Today my dear, dear friend Glenda is leaving Bolivia and moving back to the States as well and I must say goodbye to her too. I know in the next few months I will say goodbye to yet another house (I´m really feeling like a nomad these days) and yet another son as Jake moves back to the States in the fall. My missing and grieving capacity is pretty much at its limit.

Okay, well I have to wrap this up and get on with returning my emails. I just wanted to take a little time and explain what´s been up these past months and give you a glimpse into why I´m so behind. I promise I will try to do better, but you know crazy life happens I make no promises that this won´t happen again. But maybe next time I´ll take Joe and Kendell´s advice. ;^) Please don´t take this as a request for you not to send me email. I love hearing from you all. It´s only a plea for you to understand that it sometimes takes me a while to return them since along with all the crazy extra life events that happen I also have to try and work in the kids school (which I´m sure they would gladly give up in order to clear my schedule more), preparing a meal for them to eat every once in a while (I don´t know why kids think they need to eat every single day!), changing a diaper or two, seeing that my kids get at least one bath a week, nursing a baby, trying to be a help meet for my sweet hunk of a hubby, and thinking about studying Spanish every now and then (even if I´m not actually doing it), etc., etc.

Well, I´m off to face down my monster of an inbox....wish me luck and fast typing skills.

4 comments:

Christy said...

Denise,

I am perfectly okay if you never, ever return one of my emails! I think I've only sent you two in the whole time you've been in Bolivia. How terrible is that??? But I give you permission not even to worry about it. I hope you are able to enjoy reading the emails and know people love you and are thinking about you and not feel guilty if you can't write back to every single one.

Mrs. G said...

Wow, that certainly is a hectic lifestyle for living in S.A!
I could hardly sleep last night because I was trying to think of a way to come see you. Unfortunately, we have animals to milk and unemployment checks to cash. Dan is sort of out of work, which as I'm sure you can figure out, drained the savings to where travel isn't going to be easy.
His company is trying to reform. They had an owner, but are being sold once again. We're happy and growing in faith though.
You never hav to worry about answering my emails, although it was wonderful to hear from you!

kibbe said...

There's only one response to this posting Denise...I'm full of love for you:)! Take care sister....So many of us out here truly love you. Even those of us who know you only slightly. Isn't being in Christ together a wondrous thing? You already know you're in his grip, but know that many of us are lifting you up daily to Him....

Sun said...

WOW! I can just cry thinking of all that you have been through. You are such a sweet Momma - you and your husband are incredible to go so willingly where God has called you. May He continue to hold you close as you walk through the next days, weeks and months! Sunshine